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Archive for the tag “Father/Daughter”

Our Role Models

Hello Dear Followers,

As promised, I am posting my first thoughts about “The Help.” I think so far the book is hilarious, I think it points out the obvious about everyday people in a way we wouldn’t normally say out loud.

It reminds me of other books I have read including “To Kill a Mockingbird,”  “The Secret Life of Bees” and “The Color of Water” just to name a few. I couldn’t help but feel the similarities from all of these books.  It’s in their tone, the circumstance and while some are heavier than others, they all have some sort of hilarity to them when stating the true facts about life.

I have to admit I haven’t read enough yet to form a complete a opinion for what I have read so far, but I can definitely already see why the popularity was so strong and I look forward to seeing the movie.

While I don’t see anything wrong with having a maid/nanny when you have children, I do feel these women in the 1960s and even today for that matter don’t take their roles as parents seriously. It’s like life is one big social hour.  Mae Mobley is just looking for a little attention from the woman that gave birth to her, is she really asking too much?

While I don’t know how far into the future this book goes, I definitely see this poor little girl resenting her mother one day and having a strong attachment to  Aibileen. How can she not? I mean this will be her female role model, the woman she will remember being there.

It’s funny how family members and non-family members  in our childhoods can have such an impact on who we become as adults, who we gravitate to in our adult lives and who we don’t because of their lack of attention or affection or whatever.

Sharing a personal part of my own life, I always had two parents, my mother was more attentive to my brother and I than my father. My father, while he was there to put food on the table and he worked hard, I find now I hardly know him, just today I found out he was a photographer in his younger years. I find this out now simply because we never had a full father-daughter relationship. My “father-daughter” relationship occurs on a regular basis with my maternal grandfather, many often mistaken him for my father because he is always there. Many don’t know my father at all.

This relationship, or lack there of has impacted the person I’ve become as an adult, never trusting anyone entirely because no one can be counted upon even if my grandfather and mother were there for my brother and I .

I feel a similar situation could happen for Mae Mobley’s character, poor little girl. She will never fully develop a relationship with her mother, because her mother is too preoccupied with her social life to really take responsibility for her daughter’s needs and wants in life even if she is so young.

I will post soon, so until then..

Father and Daughter

Hello followers,

I thought I’d share a few thoughts with you this evening, last night and the night before I did some extensive reading of “Louisa May Alcott:A Personal Biography”  and as I kept reading, I found myself terribly disappointed in the father’s role in Louisa’s life.

Bronson Alcott

He was what we would consider today a “dead beat” Dad, at least I think so, while Ms. Cheever I feel doesn’t go into  extensive detail about the relationship between Louisa and her father, she does highlight his role as a father and husband within the family. I am finding though, the author is trying to single these two people out through her telling of Louisa’s life.

I constantly felt disappointed in his absence which like Ms. Cheever explains, may be the reason Louisa didn’t have a strong father character in “Little Women” because it was Abba Alcott who was the breadwinner, the one who fought for the family when it was bad, when it was hard. When Bronson Alcott was off dreaming, it was Abba who managed to keep the family together.

Louisa May Alcott

I thought it was extremely progressive of Abba to take a job in Boston to keep the family afloat from poverty, in the 19th century it was a rarity to see the woman go to work, they weren’t given a voice during that time. But I guess in Abba’s case, what had to be done needed to be done.

I admire her for that.  I have always felt I could relate to some of my favorite authors such as Louisa, Jane Austen, Elizabeth Gilbert. Growing up I had a father who was absent in many ways. Unlike Bronson, my father worked extremely hard to put food on the table and I will always respect him for that, but he was never there for my brother and I emotionally and still isn’t today. He was always off dreaming through his music.  While that too helped pay the bills, he neglected knowing his kids on the level he should have. Connection was never found.

It was my mother who ran a household, went to school full-time and had a full-time job. She made sure the lights were always on and that we were well taken care of both physically and emotionally. If I were like Louisa writing a book of my own, I too, probably wouldn’t include my own father.

I guess my resentment toward Bronson could in some way be re-directed to my own.  My brother said not to long ago, that I was my father’s favorite because I was older, but I never felt that connection. I knew a father who was only partly there, a father who knew how to discipline and criticize rather than console and understand. 

Like Abba, my mother always made father’s shortcomings acceptable. It is a wonder Louisa never married, how could she feel any real connection to any man, when the one man didn’t know how to a strong role model in her life.

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