Books From My Closet

"I Love Books The Way Some Girls Love Shoes"

Archive for the category “Love”

Smart or Beautiful?

lovewarriorHello Dear Followers,

Over the years, my best friend and I have had several conversations ranging in various topics, in one of our conversations, I had asked what I thought was rather a simple question, “Why can’t people just be themselves?”

She answered immediately with, “Do you know how fuckin’ hard that is to do?”

I replied, “No, I don’t.” Because I didn’t.  I didn’t know because I was always myself.  Maybe it was pure ignorance, but I just didn’t know how to be anyone else.

She then said, “Well, I guess you have had a higher sense of self.”

I began to think at that point, whether there had been a time I wasn’t myself. But I couldn’t think of a one.

I recently began reading “Love Warrior” by Glennon Doyle Melton.  A book that everyone (including the author) is calling “a book about marriage.” I suppose that is true, I just haven’t gotten to the marriage part yet.

I am in the beginning, where the author talks about who she was growing up or rather who she wasn’t.

She talks about how in her younger years she was always considered beautiful by those who came in contact with her.   As I was reading this, several things she said struck me and it’s this:

“When strangers admire me, I practice returning their attention. I understand that beauty is a form of kindness. It is for giving away and I try to be generous.”

She goes on to say that her parents tried to instill balance in her life by telling her she was smart as well.

“I’m an early reader, and at four, converse like an adult.” “But soon I realize that smart is more complicated than beautiful….”  “I begin to understand that beauty warms people and smart cools people.” 

Let me preface this by saying, I am smart. Always have been, somewhat absent minded, but smart just the same. I grew up loving to read, I enjoyed history and studying people and the world around me. Beautiful wasn’t a word I would exactly use to describe myself.

As I have gotten older, I embraced all of these “smart” aspects me and accepting that I wasn’t physically beautiful.  Sure, I have physical traits that I love, but I was never completely happy with it all.

People reading this might say things like, “Beauty only runs skin deep.” or “Think more of yourself, Daniela.”

I never wanted to play the dumb blonde to get noticed, I never knew how to flirt or if I did, I didn’t use it.  I loved that I loved to read, I loved that I knew I thought differently than most girls my age, but does this get the attention of the opposite sex?  No. You hardly get noticed.

Glennon goes on to talk about how she became someone else as she got older, having a “representative” of sorts, getting involved in things that could destroy anyone.

Anyway, I think this is an excellent and easy read, definitely worth diving into.  While this is one of six books I am reading right now, I will definitely get back to you with more thoughts as I continue on with this book.

Until next time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Men Love Bitches

Men Love BitchesHello Dear Followers,

I recently grabbed the book, “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl” by Sherry Argov off my bookshelf.

I thought I would write a little blog post about it, because the first 50 or so pages in, I was in serious fits of laughter, at my own embarrassing fuck ups with the male species.

Let me say for the record, I am not a bitch. Not in the least.  I have allowed (key word here) men and people in general to walk all over me.  Because I am what this book calls, “the nice girl.”

I answer texts as soon as they come in, I am readily available if people want to hang out, the word “no” isn’t always in my vocabulary.

I promise I am working on this!

When I began reading this, I thought, oh dear God, I have done this all wrong.  What I thought I should do when it comes to the opposite sex, is exactly what I shouldn’t have done at all.

The author so far does a very good job at comparing and contrasting “the bitch” from the “nice girl” it provides various “Attraction Principles” for us girls to follow.

Examples: When a woman doesn’t give in easily and doesn’t appear docile or submissive, it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.   

A man knows which woman will give in to last-minute requests. 

Also the author isn’t describing the bitch everyone hates, it’s the one that is kind yet strong.  She has a strength that is subtle.

To play the blame game on yourself and say, you did this all wrong (like I did as I was reading this book) is simply not right.  You have to remember you are who you are.  And the right person, whoever he is will love you for it.

It made me think of the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”  (based on another funny book by the same name) … one of the lead characters constantly puts herself in these embarrassing positions with men,  chasing them and calling them, reading into things that aren’t actually there… and so on.  When the last guy rejects her in the movie, she makes a good point about how she may make a fool of herself in the ways that she does, but at least she is one step closer to finding love. I gave her a big cheer when I saw this scene.

I just thought I would give this a quick recommendation to all of you girls out there looking for a few pointers and some seriously good laughs.

Until next time..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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